Major Charity to Donate 1% of All Income to Charity

The Breast Cancer Appeal announces that, in today's globalised world, it it has come to understand its responsibility to contribute to an improved quality of life in the communities it operates in, and that it has therefore decided to give 1% of all revenue to good causes. Privately, it is hoped that this move will improve the lagging charity's brand image.

Breast Cancer Appeal has seen a rapid drop in subscription rates in the aftermath of 9/11. Some people have decided to divert their donations towards charities such as the Red Cross, who work directly in war zones. Most, however, have decided that they are now the real victims, and that as such they will not be giving a penny to charity.

The charity has also gained a poor reputation in recent years after several investigations provoked allegations of misallocation of resources. CEO Jessica Clark said that she hopes this new policy will convince the public of the charity's integrity, established as a key area of concern by expensive customer surveying carried out during the past two years.

'It's important that the public get to see that we're more than just a faceless, multinational charity', she said. 'We're also an important part of a large number of communities throughout the world. It is time for us to give something back'.

Jessica Clark has come under fire during the past 3 years in her position as CEO. Although she was successful in rationalising the charity's costs, pushing through the removal of health insurance plans for the charity's employees with suprisingly limited resistance, it has been in the crucial area of donations where she has come unstuck. She was originally appointed because of her well-known links with members of the Mafia. It was hoped that these connections would lead to all-important high profile gifts from the rich and famous, that are the lifeblood of a charity, not only providing immediate income but helping its brand name recognition among members of the public. Donations from the Mafia have so far, however, been limited.

With the announcement, Breast Cancer Appeal donations increased to �50 000/hour, although they fell back to �45 000 by the close of mail this evening.

copyright 2002 all names used satirically under fair uses act 1998

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